Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Believe all of the hype, don't scoff at the fanaticism, and see The Dark Knight Rises as soon as possible. Brilliant and powerful. Christopher Nolan is a force to be reckoned with. The Dark Knight Rises, and it's preceding chapters, define what the makers of the cinematic experience should hope to achieve.

Not only did Mr. Nolan provide a simply entertaining masterpiece, but he also successfully fills in all the gaps of telling the story of Batman where others failed fans miserably. Mr. Nolan deserves an applause and a thank you. I thought Rises would enrage me, and would provide a Matrix III type folly. Wrong. While I would hate to diminish my love for Michael Keaton, I have to say Christian Bale, at very least, now ties for the best batman. I must own the Blu-Ray.

Wonderful performances, stunning special effects, dynamic plot and characters, a screenplay executed with an acknowledged intellect of the audience, and the best f@cking movie in cinemas right now.

4.4 Stars

Don't forget to comment!

Hesher (2011)

Have you seen Hesher yet?

Hesher, the most under-rated film of 2011.

Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt of who I am now forever a fan. Additionally, one of the first performances of Natalie Portman I genuinely appreciate. Hesher is beautiful.

I ask you please watch this film, and if it is not your thing you may be at the wrong blog. Jokes, how dare I. This is the only film blog you should be reading.

4.5 Stars.

Biff & Jaffy Do Sedona

An unofficial "Two Minute Crappy Film."

Saturday, July 14, 2012

TED (2012)

TED is the type of film that makes you want to spit on a bad review, or fellow coffee shop patron that pretentiously talks shit about the comedic timing and the disappointment Charlie Chaplin would express.

Mark Wahlberg does an awesome job (as usual,) the bear is freaking hilarious, Mila Kunis does Mila Kunis beautifully, superb writing, watch it over-and-over factor through the roof, and generally a great time. Thank you Ted.

A local critic, from a very popular publication, decided to review the film as though she orginally intend on viewing the Titanic in 3-D re-release. Up Till Dawn Films and friends would like to say, "Shut up bitch, you don't know what you're talking about."

4.3 Stars.

Editor's note: Comments, questions, disagreements? Please feel free to comment freely, just please don't post porn or spam. Even shamless self-promotions are ok with us, just no bullshit, you dig? Anonymous comments and attempts to troll are permitted as well. Don't forget to click the 'ted' poster to pre-order the Combo Pack!

Friday, July 6, 2012

V is for Zombie (2012)

The 2-Minute Crappy Film Series!

Episode #3:
"V is for Zombie"

This 2-Minute Crappy Film is extra special. We didn't watch the film, Vengeance of the Zombies, in its entirety, but the piece is simply cinematic genius.

Unfortunately, they did not follow the Up Till Dawn Films two-minute-max policy for crappy films. We gather the presentation would have received a Grammy or something, if only...

This piece of crap was so splendid we did not even have to outsource for the soundtrack. Everything needed some rearranging and trimming, but otherwise the original was a work of brilliance; overlooking the original length.

Take caution: this installment of the Up Till Dawn Films: 2-Minute Crappy Film Series! punches the psyche and is not for the feint of heart.

Copyright 2012. Burning Empire Media. All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

On Grass (2012)

Up Till Dawn Films: 2-Minute Crappy Film Series!
Episode #2: "On Grass"

In our second installment, of the Up Till Dawn Films: 2 Minute Crappy Film Series!, we combined a crappy anti-marijuana propaganda film with some pro-tobacco propaganda.

When we finished mixing the ingredients in the blender a sensationally crappy pro-marijuana propaganda film poured out onto the screen.

The elusive Haight Ashbury Pimps re-worked and provided the soundtrack for this one. Enjoy!

Copyright 2012. Burning Empire Media. All Rights Reserved.

Check back soon for more of:
Up Till Dawn Films: 2-Minute Crappy Film Series!

Poster prints for sale soon too.

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Click to watch now!

Freaking awesome! I do not feel the need to explain what an individual should plan for when about to watch Piranha 3DD or "double-down." Even the title concept screams ridiculous nonsense, but I say, "okay."

A highly offensive tidal wave of naked madness. Piranha 3DD is a bloody mess of late night horror genius and fun. I love it.

Wonderful casting surprises, and almost as good as the first.

In very few theaters still, so convince your date to buy or rent this one when available, or watch it now on demand!

 3.9 out of 5 Stars.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

God Bless America (2011)

I wanted to see this movie as soon as I heard about it. After, listening to Bobcat discuss this film on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast my excitement tripled. Zed did not disappoint this audience.

Now one of UTDF's top five must see of 2011, God Bless America is a true patriot's film. Violent, offensive, bloody, vulgar, excessive and totally on point.

Bobcat Goldthwait is not only a hilarious screaming maniac but also a true master of his craft.

3.9 Stars.

Reprogramming v1.4

Little 4th of July ditty brought to you in part by UTDF!